My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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