i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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