we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize