I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
