so explain again why im purple
no
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
