I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
