ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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