I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
