I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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