She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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