The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
