The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
