hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
