i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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