she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize