I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize