I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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