come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just threw up on my dentist
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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