did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
