You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
