gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
