Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
