you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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