You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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