i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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