I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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