Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
