sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
