You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
