My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize