walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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