So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
