Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
