she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
