Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
