My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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