i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
