the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize