even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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