He uses pillows to masturbate.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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