And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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