And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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