EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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