I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
