One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
