But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
its liver damage thursday
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
