Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
