I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
