Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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