i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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