I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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