dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
