do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
