So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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