I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
