hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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