i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
