I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
