If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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