I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
